THE YEAR OF YES, EP. 24: YES TO MORE LOVE

You may roll your eyes and want to dismiss this as a platitude, but hear me out if you can. I am not talking about the sappy stuff of Disney films and I’m not talking about the hyper-sexualized conception of love by the Western world and media.

I am talking about the “affectionate concern for the well-being of others,” that is built on the foundation of empathic, compassionate care. Empathy is the core of true connection, with other humans including your love interest, animals, and the earth.

If practiced and cultivated, this type of love can help alleviate the suffering of human existence that we all tend toward - depression, anxiety, hopelessness, existential dis-ease. Its basis is in kindness and generosity, and science shows it can even help to make your coupled partnerships last. 

It’s important to remember, empathy and sympathy aren’t synonymous. Sympathy is feeling for someone, while empathy is a process that involves feeling with them.

Empathic love makes you feel calm, connected, and translates into warm and affectionate behavior. This means, physiologically, your adrenal (stress response) system isn’t in overdrive - in fact - empathic behavior helps to move your body processes into a relaxed place, where good “rest and digest” hormones take over.

Empathic love builds bridges. It leads to pro-social choices - ones that lead to not only benefitting yourself, but benefitting others involved as well. And though all of this may sound woo-woo or soft, I can assure you it won’t make you weak; you can still be a WARRIOR - a warrior who fights honestly, and wins fairly. 

So, how to practice empathic love? Loving-kindness (metta) meditation practice is a great place to start. When I’m having a bad day or having a depressive or anxiety-filled spell, I direct to one person after the next the following statements silently in my head:

“May you be happy, may you be healthy, may you be peaceful, may you live with ease.”

I may do it while walking on the street, on the train, driving in traffic, at work, or in the slowww line for groceries. Try it - it’s incredibly powerful - you'll notice how your stress starts to dissipate, your mood starts to shift and a sense of greater connection starts to grow. One that reminds you, “we’re all in this crazy, beautiful world together.” 🌎

Dr. Shah's Metta (Loving-Kindness) Cards

THE YEAR OF YES: NEW MOON CONTEMPLATION (POSTED A DAY LATE!)

“Flying starts from the ground. The more grounded you are, the higher you fly.” - J.R. Rim

On this new moon day (8/11), let’s all begin the process of learning to fly, and one day to gracefully soar, by starting from the ground, using tools like mindfulness and lovingkindness meditation.

Working from within, from your inside ↠ and not seeking without ↠ you can discover that your wings are nestled right there with you, just waiting to stretch out, take up some space and work magic for you. Flying is easier than you think. Get quiet and start to listen!

With love and blessings. <3

THE YEAR OF YES, EP. 15: YES TO FOLLOWING THE CYCLES OF NATURE

Dark side of Saturn's largest moon, Titan. Photo credit: NASA Jet Propulsion Lab at CalTech

We are humans, bound by nature, made by nature, literally made up of the same elements as the entire universe. It’s an astonishing concept, maybe even overwhelming, once your mind starts to open to it. This awareness is also what makes us human. No other animal stares deeply upward into the cosmos to ponder the nature of reality. To feel tethered to the greater reality of what it is to be human on this Earth, and to feel the ebb and flow of our micro-corner of this universe, is simply a necessity for me - and I argue - for all of us.

Biorhythms.

Nature’s rhythms are sometimes hard to feel in the big city. Yes, we have some of the most beautiful dawns and dusks in Brooklyn - and I try to take notice daily. Recognizing the passing of weather patterns and the cycling of seasons are also practical ways to stay connected to the broader, elemental picture of our existence. This is especially true when one lives away from the raw opulence of the countryside or forest or coast.

Moon Phases.

Following our moon’s phases is another expansive, nourishing way to follow these natural cycles. I’ve been following the cycles of the moon for many years now, partially because I was once a part of a shaman group that instilled this valuable practice into me and partially because I’m an astronomy & universe-enthusiast. Each new (dark) moon, such as this past Sunday, and full moon (the next one is 4/29), are marked in my Google calendar. Keeping track reminds me to pause, to step back and observe *where I am* in the space-time continuum we call life.

Intention Setting.

Intention-setting is like planting seeds you want to see grow in your life. Sometimes new seeds need to be planted. Other times, your intention seeds that were previously planted require more watering and sunlight - i.e. *attention* and *energy.* And sometimes, the seeds you planted a while back no longer serve you, and they need to be weeded out - i.e. it's time to *let go.*

On new (dark) moon days, I make a point to re-evaluate my day-to-day existence, even if it’s just for a few minutes. It’s a time for me to contemplate the bigger picture of life, and perhaps plant some new seeds by setting a new intention or two in motion. On full moon days, I take stock of intentions I’ve set, and evaluate what needs to be let go as the moon wanes back to darkness.

An intention may be as simple as a word, or a more complex phrase, sentence, or idea. I'll write in more detail about intention setting in another post, stay tuned!

Ebb and Flow.

As the waves in the sea ebb and flow, so do the moon’s phases. And I’m sure you know, the two are interconnected: the tides of all of our oceans are a result of the moon exerting its gravitational force on these great bodies of sea water. We’re made of water and salt too, in different proportions, sure… 

But all of this -- you and me and the moon and the sea -- are parts of the same big, beautiful mystery we call life on planet Earth, within our tiny Solar System, part of the spiral-shaped Milky Way Galaxy, among billions of other galaxies, and so much else we do not yet understand much at all.

Image courtesy of NASA, so much cool stuff to read here.

The Year of Yes is a weekly photo-and-word installment by Dr. Shah written with the purpose of evoking hope, resilience, and a gentle movement toward healthy change in all of us.