THE HEAL BETTER 7: # 2 NAVIGATING STRESS
OH, STRESS!
Stress is a natural part of life. Some stress is useful - it keeps our faculties and brains sharp. Runaway and chronic stress, on the other hand, is problematic, leading to downstream toxic effects like chronic disease, chronic pain, mental health issues, and even death…
I really want you to navigate your stress better. Read on!
THE YEAR OF YES, EP. 24: YES TO MORE LOVE
You may roll your eyes and want to dismiss this as a platitude, but hear me out if you can. I am not talking about the sappy stuff of Disney films and I’m not talking about the hyper-sexualized conception of love by the Western world and media.
I am talking about the “affectionate concern for the well-being of others,” that is built on the foundation of empathic, compassionate care. Empathy is the core of true connection, with other humans including your love interest, animals, and the earth.
If practiced and cultivated, this type of love can help alleviate the suffering of human existence that we all tend toward - depression, anxiety, hopelessness, existential dis-ease. Its basis is in kindness and generosity, and science shows it can even help to make your coupled partnerships last.
It’s important to remember, empathy and sympathy aren’t synonymous. Sympathy is feeling for someone, while empathy is a process that involves feeling with them.
Empathic love makes you feel calm, connected, and translates into warm and affectionate behavior. This means, physiologically, your adrenal (stress response) system isn’t in overdrive - in fact - empathic behavior helps to move your body processes into a relaxed place, where good “rest and digest” hormones take over.
Empathic love builds bridges. It leads to pro-social choices - ones that lead to not only benefitting yourself, but benefitting others involved as well. And though all of this may sound woo-woo or soft, I can assure you it won’t make you weak; you can still be a WARRIOR - a warrior who fights honestly, and wins fairly.
So, how to practice empathic love? Loving-kindness (metta) meditation practice is a great place to start. When I’m having a bad day or having a depressive or anxiety-filled spell, I direct to one person after the next the following statements silently in my head:
“May you be happy, may you be healthy, may you be peaceful, may you live with ease.”
I may do it while walking on the street, on the train, driving in traffic, at work, or in the slowww line for groceries. Try it - it’s incredibly powerful - you'll notice how your stress starts to dissipate, your mood starts to shift and a sense of greater connection starts to grow. One that reminds you, “we’re all in this crazy, beautiful world together.” 🌎
Dr. Shah's Metta (Loving-Kindness) Cards
THE YEAR OF YES, EP. 23: YES TO GOING SLOW
awesome street art in Williamsburg by Mike Makatron
It’s been about a month since my last post. It’s because I’ve been purposely living life more SLOWLY. Summer is a great time to slow down - the weather is hot and humid, the days are long, and co-workers are away on vacation making getting things done take more time. But by slow, I mean easy, relaxed, and leisurely - not languid, sluggish or heavy.
How does one slow down?
DO LESS. Pare down the to-do list to the ESSENTIAL + URGENT items. Leave the others. Disconnect from the e-devices for several hours a day. I loved the New York Times article on JOMO (the JOY of missing out!)
BE PRESENT. Feel the sun on your skin. Notice the gorgeous summer blossoms and foliage around you. Taste the fresh produce that’s bountiful right now.
LISTEN. Focus on listening intently to the person who is talking or the sounds that surround you. Don’t interrupt and don’t give your two cents. Just listen. Hear the birds' predawn chirping. Enjoy the sounds of the trees rustling in the wind. Notice the sounds of the summer rainstorms.
WALK SLOWER. DRIVE SLOWER. MOVE SLOWER. Yes, you need to get it done. What is five extra minutes? Really, ask yourself if getting somewhere faster to save a few minutes is worth the stress. Do a walking meditation. Wander. Meander. Amble.
DAYDREAM. Research continues to emerge showing us that daydreaming is an amazing (ahem, essential) tool to cultivate creativity and new ideas.
PLAY. In the garden. At the park. Board games. While swimming. And laugh.
“How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.”
― Annie Dillard, The Writing Life
How do you slow down? 🐌
Sending positive thoughts and energy to you to make time for some dreamy, quiet hours. You most certainly deserve it.
The Year of Yes is a weekly photo-and-word installment by Dr. Shah written with the purpose of evoking hope, resilience, and a gentle movement toward healthy change in all of us.
THE YEAR OF YES: NEW MOON INTENTION
The Year of Yes, New Moon Intention: Like peonies we unfold, layer upon layer of beauty and grace.
Episode 21 will come soon. I’m listening to my innate wisdom today, finally. My mind’s been scattered, my chronic neck pain’s been flaring, & I’ve been fighting off a viral illness... with openness of mind and being, what is my body trying to tell me? I must heed the heart and take rest.
THE YEAR OF YES, EP. 8: YES TO MINDFUL SHOWERING.
Photo credit: Markus Spiske
You may be rolling your eyes right now. Like, what? Try to stay with me for a few minutes.
There’s usually only one time of day when you’re free of everything but yourself - no stuff, kids, pets, devices, other people - and that’s in the shower. What if you could take that precious alone time and make it even more special by adding a little meditation into your day?
I’ve been practicing mindful showering for a few weeks now and it’s become one of my favorite ways to practice mindfulness. Why? Because it’s a routine task during which we’re often lost in thought and don’t have much else to distract us.
Step-by-step instructions:
Start with your “beginner’s mind” by just noticing what’s going on. Observe your actions - the removal of your clothing, pulling back on the curtain or shower door, turning on the water, finding the correct temperature. Take note of the water itself - its temperature, sound, wetness. Isn’t it quite the miracle that warm, clean water comes out of your faucet /shower head whenever you want it?
Once in the shower, open your awareness to the feeling of the warm water on your body. Notice the pressure of the water flow, how does it feel? Hold the soap in your hands, notice how slick it gets, how it smells, how it feels on your skin. Feel the shampoo and how it foams up, feel the pressure of your fingers on your scalp.
Every time your mind wanders off - and it will many times, perhaps to your to-do list, or the time (I’m in a rush!), or something that happened yesterday, or whatever else - bring it gently back to the present, to the physical sensations of the warm water on your body and the weight of your feet on the tub floor. Is there any place you can be but right here, right now?
As you towel off, feel the towel's texture, how it soaks up the water, and how it gently scrubs your skin.
Finally, observe the difference paying attention makes on this everyday experience you just had.
The practice of mindful showering (or eating, or brushing your teeth, or walking...) is not about thinking, but rather just about awareness of what's going on. On the outset, the practice may seem silly, even boring. However, the more you practice everyday activity mindfulness, the more your mind will start to notice the textures of life, the emotions that come up in your body, and the fact that your thoughts are just thoughts, and not reality. If you'd like to learn more, here is a good article about mindfulness practice for beginners.
By practicing presence and mindful awareness in the shower, you can get your daily meditation dose in, and get your whole self clean - your body AND your mind. Pretty wonderful, no? ♡